Turns out the Portland Standard had ‘proof’ Satan has been behind Rock and Roll all along….

A newly discovered copyright, reveals Satan had in fact copyrighted the music as early as 1905.
“I was just looking for a fresh sound for my band,” reveals Satan over mimosas, “we just wanted to do something for the fans, screw the critics man.”
Satan also revealed his band, Satan The Four Horseman are about to go on a world tour, but will miss their she-devils back at home.